Demand Your Increase

I began working at this new company and there were 8 outlets. Now there are 16. Many staff, including myself, doubted and still doubt this expansion and growth the director is pushing. I don’t understand why he keeps opening new stores even though he is finding it difficult to pay his current staff. I protest these developments day in, day out and I cant seem to get any form of understanding as to why he is doing these new locations under the current conditions.

This is of course my perspective and as I pondered on them a few minutes ago, the most profound lesson just hit me like a ton of rustic, well baked and aged bricks.

in the same why other people just demand their increase, so too should we. So too should I!

Despite the negative and the doubt coming from people around us, even those that are going to benefit or those that we would think or “on our team”, we should demand our increase, we should work hard on our dreams; despite our conditions…..

Despite our own shortcomings and our inability to physically account for every step of the way we should continue to make things happen for ourselves. Regardless of the difficulties, the road blocks, the nay-sayers, the lack, the stereotype whatever it is…. demand your increase; in words and in action and most importantly in faith.

Anyway that is my two cents even though its been said before……

Until Next Time …… Demand Your Increase!!!

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Fears

I have been trying to come up with something profound to say about our fears this whole week. But some how I just go blank whenever I try to think about it and around Wednesday it just hit me – a real ha-ha! moment while on commute to work in an over loaded taxi cab trying to balance all 30 pounds of my son, 138 pounds of me and two huge bags simultaneously – what really are my fears???

I now dedicate this blog to trying to put words to my fears, to uncover what my greatest fears are and to try to find a way to accept that.

The first thing that came to mind when this thought occurred was my son and my initial thought was that I fear he would grow up to be someone I am not proud of and then almost immediately I realised that’s not entirely true. I would be proud of my son regardless of his personal choices and lifestyle, even if its something I don’t support or like. I would be proud of my son because of his values, how he treats people, his regard for the value of a human life regardless of the status or position of the person.

Then I stopped on that train of thought and began to think well, maybe that’s not really what I fear. But instead what I fear is that he grows up and he is not happy with his life. I want for him to be happy and not feel responsible for anything or anyone -well, not stressed over anything and then I thought, maybe when he get’s married and have kids then he can start being responsible but for now I would be fine if he didn’t want to be responsible not even for me.

I just sank because in all this thinking I started to realise I don’t know what I feared the most.

On Thursday night, my mom, little sister and I decided to watch a movie and we watched The Faults in Our Stars. This just re-opened my thoughts on my fears again and even as I write this I am crying because it was not just for my son any more. My thoughts immediately turned to my aunt who was recently diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and is now undergoing chemo and I cried because I realised my mother is watching her sister die and my cousin, one of my best friends, is watching his mother die and….. I cant stop it.

Then my thoughts turned to my own child and my health situation and even though I am not terminally ill or even remotely sick, there is a good chance within a few years that will change- drastically and I dread having to leave him so young and so innocent. I fear not being there for my child. And not in the overprotective, smothering way- I fear missing him grow up, first day at school, his first crush, his wedding, his children……. I fear not being apart of something I know is just God’s gift to me- I fear not being in his life.

And yes you may ask “so what about before he was born did you not have any fears then?” I don’t know how to answer that question honestly,  because that’s a part of me I don’t think I am ready to share yet.

Until Next Time……